One of the first things I do when I get up each morning is wash my face and, inevitably, look in the mirror as I dry the water droplets streaming down my face with a towel. I have done this umpteen times, but some mornings as I look in the mirror, the person staring back at me is unrecognizable–it’s my reflection, but not who I am. Those are the times when the person I see staring back is fearful, weak, insecure and timid–that’s not who I am or want to be! I would reach out and touch the mirror to make sure it is not a trick or illusion that someone orchestrated to lower my self-belief or play a dirty trick with my mind, but that’s just my pride acting in denial. How can I be this person! And then under greater scrutiny, it becomes apparent to me that what I see in the mirror is not a physical reflection of who I am, but the mental construct of what my mind perceives me to be in those moments when I stand in front of the mirror. It is not who I am!
Can you relate to this story? And how do you react to seeing someone who is not you!
We can go through life standing in front of our mirrors every second of our day thinking that the way we see ourselves is how the world sees us as well. We predicate our decisions on this filter declining or accepting opportunities because we think others wants us to do so, even if it is not the best decision for us. What we see as our frailties, we believe it is also apparent to the world when in fact it is our misconstrued perception of ourselves. What we see when we look in the mirror is not what other people see when they look at us, unless that’s what you want them to see!
We have the ability to create our own personal brand by embodying the things we value and show to the external world. If you value love and caring for others, then show love and care for the people in your life and who you come in contact with–the degree to which will vary, but the intent should be clear. If you want to be reclusive, that’s fine, but don’t approach everyone with a cordial smile and then shut them out once they become receptive to you. Being misaligned with your needs and values will only hurt yourself and others, with the end result being disappointments and regrets. If you don’t understand or know yourself, do not purport to be otherwise. Leave room for doubt so that others approach cautiously and not wholeheartedly only to walk face first into a brick wall. When you see a different person in the mirror each morning, it is one clear sign that you have work to do. However, that work is from within–not on the outside, so don’t grab your make-up kit or beard trimmer–it’s on the inside! Trust in your instinct and get to work. Time is precious.
Every minute we spend to know and accept who we are as a person, is repaid exponentially by the positive outcomes we realize in our lives and our pursuits when we align ourselves with the results. In contrast, every minute we spend wandering and pursuing the wrong things or what we see others doing that are not right for us, does the same but negatively. We owe it to ourselves and the people who we have in our lives to self-discover and know who we are below the surface–beyond the physical features reflected in the mirror. Give yourself the most valuable gift you can ever receive–knowing and loving the person you see in the mirror!